I did a good thing today

As part of the Master Gardener Foundation Growth Committee (yeah, sorry, I have no idea what that committee name means) I took part in a $5,000 spending spree today, in our first grant cycle.

Cool, huh?

It was wonderful to work with a diverse group of people, listen to each other's arguments, and reach consensus. We even funded a couple of extra projects that were lower on our list, because we could. *snicker* We won't always be able to do that, but we had a full year's budget ($7k) and will be fully funded again in January.

I'm impressed at how seriously we take our soil, water, farms and education here on the Olympic Peninsula. I would say more, but the awards haven't been announced yet.

We turned down some of the grant applications because of insufficient detail, but there wasn't a single one that wasn't deserving of our attention and money. And to be honest, it was more of a triage endeavor rather than outright refusal.

It's a privilege to live here and participate in this way. How'd I get so lucky?

lest I suggest

Okay. That wee rant? Blame it on some drama of the past weeks. And neighbors. Didn't want to make it sound like I'm complaining about my two blog readers.

another wee rant

I made a promise to myself almost 14 years ago that I wouldn't walk in craziness and I wouldn't walk with anyone who did. At the moment, I find myself surrounded by crazymakers. Normally I would have more compassion for their suffering but right now I'm fresh out. If you want to be one-dimensional and combative, fine. Seriously. That's fine. It will break our friendship. That's not a threat. It's just me honoring a promise I made to myself a long time ago. Same goes if you don't want to grow some emotional maturity and take responsibility for yourself, or if you are so attached that you'll destroy everything rather than develop another plan. And especially if you enjoy being mean to others. I should say that I'm sorry you can't have everything you want, or that the path you chose didn't pan out, or that you're so unhappy you have to take it out on those around you. I should say that I'm sorry you feel like a victim, or that your decisions weren't the best.

But I'm not sorry. It's not my story. I've managed with the deck I was dealt. You might want to try that.

But right now, I'm done.

how I began the autumn season

I lived a dream, walking in brown fields among a chorus of crickets, in the dust and under the sun. I remembered the beauty of the Milky Way, slept, and had vivid, disturbing dreams. I snored like a water buffalo. Evidently. I baked bread, heard terrific music, read incredible books, built a few toasty fires. My bank failed. I finished 436 crossword puzzles, pretended I could get away with avoiding the physical therapy work, drank a few excellent beers, hugged a couple of really handsome men. I realized I'm becoming familiar with Lexington, and I look forward to my next visit. I saw the first of fall color in the trees of northwestern Pennsylvania. I spied a few osprey, watched a red tail hawk strike at the side of the road, and saw pretty much every turkey vulture in the eastern United States. I ate at Bob Evans for the first time ever. I saw Jesus Is The Way, but it's not what you're thinking. And I finally had some corn.

*snicker*

Okay, I don't discuss politics in here much. Okay, at all. I save that for face time, when folks can be civil. 'Nuff said.

And this isn't political. But it sure is funny.

If Sarah Palin were your mother, what would your name be?

Signed,

Revolver Trooper Palin

all clear

The advantage of taking your physician to your test is that the specialists take notice, particularly since said physician walked out of the facility with her own personal set of films from the MRI. What would normally take two to three days to happen (full report of results), took less than one day.

So when Doc Mel called Thursday morning with the results, I was still fast asleep. I didn't get the full report until this morning.

The good news is that the densities and "multiple foci" on the right didn't take up any of the contrast dye, which indicates that those sites are "biologically inactive." The areas with the calcifications on the left didn't either, indicating that they are indeed, scar-related.

This confirms in delightful detail what she was saying all along. And being face-down in the MRI tube wasn't so bad, either. Of course, I didn't know that on Wednesday morning, so I took my Vitamin X accordingly, which made for an unimaginably relaxing afternoon at the spa. And the sleeping in on Thursday morning.

I'll follow up with the surgeon on October 2, and in four months, I'll have another mammogram, and then I should be done with this for another 14 years. Well? A girl can dream.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers and wishes. They are much appreciated, and I know from experience that they do, indeed, make a difference - if for no other reason than I know I'm not alone.

how to be a friend?

So I had this iffy mammogram. Calcifications. Not microcalcifications. Just regular ones. Which usually form around scar tissue and are benign.

My doctor consulted with the local surgeon. Together they agree that the calcifications aren't exactly new, and indeed are near the scar site from 14 years go. But - they want a better picture.

So on Wednesday, I'm going into Seattle to an imaging center for a boob MRI.

My doctor made this appointment for me. She made it because she knew I'd be going "on the other side" (across Puget Sound) on Wednesday. She knew because the two of us are going to the Olympus Spa for an afternoon of naked spa indulgence, which we'd already planned.

Which is to say that my primary care physician is going to accompany me to a breast MRI. How cool is that?

She's getting a body scrub and body moisturizing treatment. I'm getting a body scrub and spa pedicure. It's all my treat. Well, hobbitt's treat. When I ask him why he's encouraging me to spend money, he replies "That's not what I'm encouraging you to do!" Still, it cracks me up.

Anyway, me and Doc Mel talk all the time about the delicacy of her being my friend and my physician. She worries about doing something that will piss me off. I have a good imagination, and I can't imagine anything like that. We actually had a bit of a cry talking about that last time I was in her office. Her worry is that her primary directive (giving me the best care possible) will clash with our social lives. I love that she's a professional first, but I revel in her relaxation time.

I have a hard time imagining a better friend (and I have many dear friends, all of whom are precious to me), or a better doctor. Dunno how I got this lucky. But I don't care.

intimate things

Not what you think.

I love Gold Toe® socks. I recently ordered 9 pairs. Last year I did the same. That means I have approximately 18 decent pairs of socks in the drawer. Additionally, I own probably another 9 pairs that are in various states of decomposition, and a single odd one.

When my new socks arrived, hobbitt asked me if I was going to throw any of the old ones away. See, I have three sock drawers. (Well? One is for my rag wool socks and dress socks, not that I ever wear those.) I believe I mumbled some sort of non-committal reply.

All the new socks are still sitting atop my armoire. This morning I was scrounging for clothing, and pulled out a pair of the decrepit Gold Toe® socks. One was merely threadbare on the bottom. The other, also threadbare on the bottom, had a hole high in the heel. I've been wearing it this way for months. But today I remembered hobbitt's innocent question, and yanked at the heel hole until it split entirely. Then I remembered the unmatched sock, and fetched it.

Perhaps many people would have thrown out the other forlorn, threadbare sock. And eventually I will, too, when those last meager threads give up the ghost. Until then, it's perfectly serviceable. Right?

The same sort of nonsense is going on with my underwear. Recently I purchased 20 new pairs. Why 20? Mostly laundry considerations. The many, many pairs of old ones are still in the drawer, though some of the more egregious have been tossed. I mean, handles? Really.

How a new problem arises. Since weeks go by when I don't have to do laundry for underwear or socks, I'm finding that I run out of clean t-shirts very quickly.

I'd better do some more on-line shopping soon, yes?

end of summer

No matter where I've lived, the end of summer always came with a profound stillness.

I grew up at the New Joy Sea Shore. Labor Day marked the end of extra bridge openings, strange accents at the beach, and traffic congestion. Boardwalk businesses were open only on weekends. Our church scaled down worship services from having 3 on Saturday night and 6 on Sunday mornings to 1 and 2, respectively.

In Illinois, the cottonwood had begun shedding its leaves. The garden was well on its way to going to seed.

Then back in New Joy Sea for those few short years, it meant the closing of our pool, which changed the sounds and the light out back. The tupelos and sassafras began to shed their leaves. No more buzzing of dirt bikes on the trails through the cedars out back.

The story is much the same here in Brigadoon, but with a twist. There is a profound stillness already, and a strong sense that summer is over. The old madrona leaves have dropped everywhere, though this year's new shiny leaves persist; the native plum has yellowed; poppies have gone to seed.

But after the past week's rains, the ninebarks, which had been stripped bare by the black tail deer, are growing stout new leaves. The hollyhocks stand 8 feet tall and are still blooming, despite a terrible case of rust. The lavatera's delightful flowers wave from the back of the yard, a sweet contrast to the tall blue spikes on the agastache. Though the single matilija poppy flower has finished its show, the oregano has just bloomed and is loaded, day after day, with bees. The primroses have flowered again, as has the huge escallonia that borders our yard. The lawn is greening up again. Hummingbirds are still stopping by for a sip at the feeders. The hops vine has begun to flower. This changing of the guard is becoming more familiar, but I still find much delight in it.

For another few weeks, folks taking their evening walks will be eating the last of the blackberries and thimbleberries. The mahonia are loaded with grapes and the vaccinium with huckleberries. Snow berries and salal berries will be here through winter. The wild roses have set huge hips. Sometimes it seems like the whole peninsula is saying today for you, tomorrow for me.

Even though it's a 12-month growing season here, the light changes, and the tempo changes, and that same stillness comes. The weeds even seem to have given up some of their relentless taunting, and though I've obviously won the game of ignoring them, it's a hollow victory after all.

I look forward to enjoying an evening fire, and hot soup. To putting away the sprinklers and coiling up the hoses. To rains and winds. To that unimaginably refreshing scent of fallen leaves. To heavy skies for our evening beach walks. Autumn is my favorite season. I don't think it can get here soon enough.

moving along

hobbitt and I had dinner with my friend M and her spouse tonight, followed by a gripping game of Settlers of Catan. hobbitt was leading for a while, and then with the longest road I forged ahead, but in the end my friend M came storming up from behind to win.

The evening started with hobbitt giving some Photoshop pointers to H. When the fellows were doing that, I mentioned to M that I'd gotten the results of the mammogram. I'd hoped that she'd seen them already - she's my doctor. She hadn't, but had received the call from the radiologist. Seems the calcifications have all the hallmarks of being benign, but given my health history, etc.

We try to keep our social time as that. And I don't want her to be "at work" when we're hanging out. It's not fair to her. But I felt free to ask for some confirmation that a) I shouldn't worry too much and b) we're getting on this pronto.

And before we left I had an appointment with her for Tuesday at 2:30. Gotta pick up the films before I see her.

In other news, I'm still pretty amazed at how much improvement there has been with my knee issues, after just a few days. Walking is still uncomfortable, but rarely painful. The joint already feels stronger. Yay! I'm going to get me and Zach set up for some advanced training. Poor guy. With my gimp, he's not been getting much play at all, and only a few short walks a day. I think he's ready to chew his leg off to get to work with Trainer Tim again. So we'll do that.