dmv

Okay, they don't call it that here. In fact, there's a separate agency for licensing just about everything. We haven't yet taken the written test for the driver license, but we're about to register the vehicles. So I took a drive over to the county auditor's office today to find out what I need to do just that. There was no line. No line.

*shakes head, repeats*

No line.

So I walked in and a young woman behind the counter asked if she could help me. She looked remarkably like Jenny McCarthy, cleavage and all. I asked what papers I needed to register my vehicles. She said, "I need the title if you own the car, or a copy faxed to me by the bank if you're financing, and the mileage. Fill out this form with your name and address, and the make/model and VINs of the cars."

I must have looked like I was stone deaf and dumb as a rock. I didn't need proof of insurance. I didn't need my driver's license, proof of residency, the results of my latest pap smear. I must have been blinking stupidly for a moment or two. She smiled at me, put the papers in my hands, and told me to have a nice day. When I got home sometime later, and arranged for Volvo to fax the title to them, I called back to find out how I'd know if the fax had arrived. The same woman answered the phone on two rings. Two rings.

*shakes head, repeats*

Two rings. A live, breathing, knowledgeable person, at the equivalent of the DMV, two rings. I checked my pulse. I bit down hard on my cheek. Hmmmm. Not dreaming. So I asked my question and the response was, "Well, just give me a call in a day or two and I'll be able to tell you if I got the faxed title."

Okay, by now I should be twitching. But guess what? I'm not. This is the way things are supposed to work. This is the small town environment that I've been wanting, and didn't even know I'd be getting when we moved here.

For those of you waiting for the downside, well, if there is one, it's this: the builder of our home. He didn't bother to have cable brought onto the property. This means it might take 2 weeks for us to get high-speed internet access. Oh, and television, not that I care about that. Done properly, it will require about 20 feet of boring to lay the conduit. At $15/foot. He also didn't have the phone jacks in my office and in our bedroom wired. At all, it seems. Oh, and the opening in the kitchen cabinets for the fridge. Classy! Right now he owes us $200 (for the feature-free dishwasher he'd installed and which would have been too loud for us to remain indoors during its cycle), brickwork for the fireplace, a broken tile in the doorway between the kitchen and the laundry, and if I'm lucky, cleaning for the filthy carpets. This is a brand-new house. He put down plastic runways while the home was showing. Good idea, right? Until you take up the runways, and see how clean the carpet is under the plastic. Not a big deal in the greater scheme of things, but not what I'd expect from a brand-new home.

I'll get over it. The neighbors are frighteningly friendly. As are their pups. And the views are to die for. I promise pictures as soon as we can do the high-speed thing at home. For now, the cyber cafe is about to close.