everything must go

I gotta keep working at getting the NJ out of me. Impatience. Especially on the road. Evidently I am the only one who minds doing 20 mph in a 30 mph zone. And there's no reason for me to mind, other than the encoding of living east of the Mississippi. But I've never been good at waiting. I am a woman of action, at least when I'm not sitting on the sofa wondering whether I'm just lazy or have actually had a stroke which makes moving my arms and legs impossible.

Okay, I was feeling that way after having walked the hills here in our community with Inti and hobbitt. I chose poorly - the hill was steep and long. If we'd gone the other way, the hill would have been longer, but not as steep. I tire easily. That has as much to do with poor conditioning as with being supersized. It's changing, just not fast enough.

We've never had a brandy-new home before. We won't do it again, unless we're choosing everything and on top of the process. The things that need doing, or that were cheaped out (and I have to keep reminding myself that we not only downsized in meatspace but also in cashspace) wear on me and make me anxious. And I moved here so that I could stop being anxious. For the most part, this is the case. I no longer wake in the morning holding my body tight, trying to control what will happen, what crisis there will be at the other end of the phone, what unpleasant task needs to be completed today. However, I wake knowing that I'll have to walk around the refrigerator in the middle of the kitchen (at least until Thursday). Not a big deal, but it's like the Chinese water torture after a week or so. I hardly notice it anymore, but my psyche does.

Here's what I need: high-speed internet access. Art up on the walls. The new fridge pushed back into the opening. Landscaping. Window treatments. The closed sale of druid labs east. Replacements for the cracked floor tiles.

Oh, yeah. That'll make everything perfect, she says with her eyes rolling in her head.