relatives worse than yours

It never ends.

I just took a call from my Aunt Marie, who is the only living relative from her generation of the L. family. (Aunt Grace married into the family.) My recently-deceased cousin Joe was the son of Aunt Marie's twin brother. She tried to be close to Joe after she moved to the Joy Sea Shore when her husband died, and by that I mean she invited him for meals and was faithful in calling him.

Anyway, she called me to tell me that she was deeply hurt that Joe hadn't remembered her in his will. It didn't matter to her that he didn't remember me in the will (not that I'd expected him to) or pretty much any other extended L. family member other than my brother, to whom he left our grandfather's ring, and maybe my sister, though her inheritance came from being the beneficiary of several of his IRAs, and not by outright bequest in the will.

She said, "I loved him so much and invited him to dinner all the time. You'd think he'd have at least mentioned me, remembered me, even for just five dollars!" I tried to tell her that last wills aren't emotional documents meant to thank people. I did mention to her that generally we don't love people and care for them because we expect something in return. I wanted to ask her to be honest - if he'd left her five dollars in his will wouldn't she have been insulted, or called him a cheap bastard? I wanted to ask her if her children mentioned my mother in their will. (Her kids didn't give a rats ass about my mother and wouldn't have crossed the street to be nice to her.) I reminded her that people often leave their belongings to the next generation, and not to the previous one. None of this mattered to her. She just wanted to be a victim. A greedy, narcissistic victim.

She'll probably be hurt that Aunt Grace won't have remembered her either. So whatever Aunt Grace's acts of giving to whomever she wanted, will be perceived as a slap in the face. She wants a slap? I am not leaving her anything.

And yes, this is the same aunt who allowed her son to browbeat her into giving him a $60k loan from another uncle's holdings when that uncle was incapacitated and Aunt Marie had power-of-attorney.

Yes. That is theft.

Addendum. I just spoke with my cousin's executor. Apparently my Aunt Marie is going to dispute my cousin's will. Because in spite of the fact that he had a will, she perceives herself to be the "next in line." Golly. When was the last time I trembled with rage? Hmmm.

Just one more reason for hobbitt and me to get started on plans for a charitable trust for our estate.