how not to make a main-dish dinner salad

Combine:

Green leaf lettuce.
Red leaf lettuce.
Mesclun mix.
Dried cranberries.
Roquefort cheese.
Croutons.
Newman's Own raspberry vinaigrette.

Toss well. Then toss good sense out the window into the night.

Add:

Candied pecans.
Leftover grilled onion slices.
Garlic marinated olives.
Artichoke hearts.
Pepperoncini.

I ate it all. Which dispensed with one of the issues regarding my self-diagnosed gout vis-a-vis dinner options: red meat.

But really. A bit over the top.