time for a change

It's been coming on for a long time. For all my speechifying about giving up attachments, I am the attachment queen. Mostly I'm attached to old hurts, old wants, old bruises, old injustices. And for the past several weeks I've been having big dreams about those particular attachments, and even letting them go.

I don't know why this is happening now. I wasn't even sure what was going on until yesterday, when I thought once again about bringing a new pet into the house. "Inti wants a puppy," I've been saying. The truth is, it's time for new life, new habits, new engagements. bhd wants a puppy.

Sure I've been talking about how perfect our household is, with Mollie and Inti (1 cat, 1 dog). Our routine is gentle, easy, relaxed, and, well, routine. I've been pining for something new and unwilling to commit to anything like a job or more volunteer time. Pining and doing nothing to change this comfortable ennui, to break out of habits (surfing and crossword puzzles) that ultimately lead to me being tense.

bhd needs a puppy. Okay, I really didn't want a puppy until I started noodling around the PetFinder adoption pages and saw this guy. Click that link for more pictures.














Oops.

So I filled out the adoption form. Told the honest truth. Emailed it back. Worried that they wouldn't consider us. Got a phone call within 10 minutes of emailing the form. Evidently we're primo. It might have been the answer to the question: "If you move, what will happen to your pets?" That's simple. I would never move anywhere without my pets. Ever. Or this question: "Under what circumstances would you give up your pet?" Answer: Cannot imagine any circumstances other than a threat to my life, or a severe personality defect in the pet, or that the pet was a danger to my other pets or neighbors.

We're heading to the other side of the Sound on Sunday. Chances are, Zach (his mother was a pregnant stray, his father likely a swell pack of dogs as each puppy in the litter looked different from the others. Think: Lab, Aussie shepherd and maybe a little dose of pit bull) will be coming back with us. And at 12 weeks, he's likely going to be puking all over me during the ride back. We're in no way ready for such a young puppy. I haven't had to housetrain a pet in 20 years. But most importantly, I didn't wake up this morning with a start, thinking "What the hell am I doing?"

It's time for new life, new habits, new family. It's time.