whoa

Okay, so I've been on the moodmeds for what, six, seven weeks?

Holy crap.

I feel awake and alive, for the most part. The darkness has lifted, and I'm very optimistic, but I'm not yet up to speed on making the most of my day. Then again, I'm not depressed about it.

The jitters are back. I think it's not about the drug, though, but about what's been going on in my life. We went here on Saturday and watched Henner Schröder pour a new glass work - it was electrifying and terrifying. hobbitt and I were so jazzed when we got home that we couldn't sit still for hours.

The next day we brought dinner over there and shared it with our new friends and their three young assistants. This included a 2-gallon cooler of our magic margaritas. The conversations were lively and occasionally outrageous. We all told stories on ourselves that I'd never print here, and the laughter didn't stop until Melanie kicked us all out at 10 p.m. (She was seeing patients first thing this morning.) The margaritas stayed behind.

Today I got a call from a neighbor who remembered that I might be interested in buying her house should she ever move. (I met her at a baby shower a year and a half ago, and didn't keep in touch right away, and when I did, she was in Hawaii where she has a second home, so that friendship never got started.) The price is out of our comfort zone, and we have grown used to the open space and tremendous amount of light here, so that's unlikely. But I went over to take a look at a couple of La-Z-Boy recliners she wants to get rid of, and we ended up chatting for three hours. It's incredible how much we have in common, including other local friends such as Melanie and Henner. It seems I am being woven into a circle of people I've been hoping to find for a long time.

hobbitt and I are visiting with them on Friday night. The guys have never met, so we'll have a look-see at the house and probably a few glasses of wine. Too bad this is happening as they plan a move to San Diego, but better late than never, I guess.

Life is happening for me, and it's opening up to new healthy possibilities. I'm optimistic and positive and I cannot remember the last time I truly felt that way.

Thanks for hanging in there with me in the darker days.