mofoing the spousal unit

My little sister and I have a phrase we use when we are bitching about our spouses. Well, mostly she does. Can't remember the last time I had something to bitch about with hobbitt.

She'll say, "I'm motherf*cking Alan today." Translation: I'm using that word about him repeatedly because he deserves it.

She's been mofoing him lately because he couldn't find his wallet the other day. For some reason he gets very suspicious and paranoid when something is misplaced. One day some months ago she had to take his truck to the shop for repairs. Afterwards, he couldn't find his CDs. He believed the auto repair guys stole them, and blamed my sister. When she found them beneath the seat of her car (which he'd been using that day), she called him over and asked him to help her get something. When he saw what it was, he got all "lamby," which is their word for contrite and cute. Her response to his lambiness was "Get the f*ck away from me, you asshat."

So, back to the wallet. My sister had an A/C rep in the house to get an estimate on central air, after which Alan's wallet could not be found. You can probably figure out the rest of the story. She was mofoing Alan left and right.

When I got back with groceries this morning, it was quite hot in the house. Yes, we're having a heat wave. Don't laugh. I'm no longer acclimated to 80-degree heat, even with the low (40%) humidity. It's going to be close to 90 tomorrow, so I decided I needed the fans. I had put them away in the closet. hobbitt had put them up in one of the little attic spaces we have.

So yes, I'm ashamed to admit, I was mofoing hobbitt today. And to be honest, it was only because I was on the phone with my little sister. Otherwise, I just would have been mumbling to myself, and using no swear words whatsoever.