sleeping, dreaming

I had a strange dream early this morning. Very, very strange.

In the dream I was attending a progressive theatre night - imagine a progressive dinner but instead of traveling from home to home for different courses, we were traveling from one performance art piece to another. One I distinctly remember had actors dressed in colorful sea creature clothing, lying about as if they were clams or anemones.

Andy Samberg was there. He was cute. He caught my eye. He was sporting facial hair a la "Dick in a Box."

As we were about to change venues one more time, he stood extremely close to me (in the dream he was much taller than I), and gave me a friendly hug. What was strange is that he was sporting a huge erection. I didn't see it, but I felt it against my body. The man had superhuman junk. No shit.

This didn't sit well with me. I thought it a rude gesture, and told him that except for that impropriety, I might have considered dating him. He was crushed. He thought he was being funny. (Is he funny? I haven't seen Saturday Night Live in decades, so I'd have no idea.)

A short while later, while walking with my sister, I told her about that encounter. She couldn't believe I'd pass up an opportunity to have sex with such a well-endowed and quite handsome man. That made me reconsider. Immediately. It hardly mattered that I'm old enough to be his mother.

Thus commenced more flirtation. Eventually, when it was about to get serious, I waved my hands in front of him, saying, "Obviously you've neglected to notice something about me." Then he spied my wedding ring. "How is this going to work?" he asked. I didn't actually have an answer.

Then I woke up. You thought there was going to be sex? Oops.