security is a superstition
My favorite nephew wants to join the Marines as soon as he finishes high school. My nephew who rescued frogs from our driveway and kissed them before gently placing them on the lawn. Who held my hand as we hiked Hurricane Ridge, because I was afraid of heights. Who is still a beautiful boy in my heart, and in my mind's eye.
I'm heartsick. Not because I think a military career is a bad idea, but because I think losing his life in the shit-hole called the Iraq "war" is a bad idea. Or worse, losing everything but his life (thanks to great body armor). His mother and I briefly talked about breaking his legs after graduation, but instead I wrote him a heartfelt letter telling him about my hopes and fears.
This is what he wrote back:
I completely understand where you are coming from, and I'm glad people care about the decisions I make in life, but in the end, as bad and selfish as it may sound, its my life. The marines has more to offer then most people think. To start off you can receive a college degree for free while enlisted. The main reason I am not going to college before I enter the marines is because I don't have the mind set to put school first, and have my priorities in order. I figure I go through boot camp, become more disciplined, get my act together, and then put the time and effort that is needed into my school work. Not only will the marines provide me with the skills and academics I need to succeed in life, but it will give me the chance to go around the world and see things that many will never get the chance to. Yes every marine is a riflemen, but not all marines are "killers", I would like to enter the field of diesel mechanics. When my time is finished I can take what I have learned in the service and apply to my life and start a career of my own. And just think, when I am filling out an application and write U.S. marine corps as a reference or for experience, that will set me above everyone else. I want to serve my country and if that means going to Iraq then so be it.
Of course, after reading that, I wept. He's far more thoughtful and mature than I can even imagine. It's been a while since I last saw him. For myself I'm okay with growing older but I want this special child to remain forever my little Owen. What I feel is genuine mourning, and it's quite a surprise to feel this way.
But I cannot bear the thought of losing him. I'm hoping he'll get another bug up his patoot before he graduates from high school. Girls, maybe.
posted by bhd @ 5:23 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
I can't imagine how that must feel. I hope it all works out for the best and that if he goes, he comes back safe and sound.
**hug**
As you know, I have my own, very personal, perspective on this.
Despite my hatred of this war and my disdain for the "leadership" that has led us here, I will say that the young service members I have met in the last year are men and women of honor and integrity. Given what you have said about your nephew, here and elsewhere, I think he will only add to the honor of their ranks.
It's a careful, thoughtful and rational decision made by a bright and thoughtful young man. I will join you in a silent prayer for his safety and his personal growth.
*sigh, hug*
Everything your nephew wrote is true, and if we weren't a country "at war," I would find his decision to be one of great maturity and integrity.
However, I feel much the way you do, in that with what's going on with our armed services at this time, it's VERY difficult to conceive of any of our loved ones volunteering for such things—whatever the reason.
All I can say is that I hope everything works out for the best, whatever that "best" turns out to be.
i remember him well. and i know how much you love him. after reading his response, i am bowled over by his ability to maturely think about this and discuss his reasons. and that his reasons are so admirable. what a self aware guy he is! sounds like he's on his way to being a pretty decent man. he'll be in my prayers.
Oh yea. I heard the same from my son. Army National Guard. It turned a boy into a man, started him through college. I just hope they don't hurt him next.
The thing I remember most about leaving home and getting out in the world and what was commented on most upon my return was "loss of innocence". This is the rite of passage from childhood to adulthood, no matter what path you take.
I pray this journey he has chosen will enlighten him without robbing him of his integrity. He has a "plan" that sounds fairly solid. I hate that anyone has to fight in Iraq or Afghanistan. What a waste of lives. Surround him with your love and intentions for his safety. He will return a man with a solid future. And that is a good thing.
I had a nephew who briefly considered this too, and thankfully, chose college. But your nephew's conviction is amazing--so I really hope if he goes through with this that everything meets his expectations and that he comes home alive and well. He's really blessed to have you for an aunt. In the meantime, much love & strength to you, watching it happen.
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