engineering

I bought a new bra today.

This is noteworthy for two reasons. First, I haven't worn anything but sports bras in more than a decade. The uni-boob look works for me, since I'm so lopsided since surgery. Think left = C and right = DD.

Second, I haven't bought a bra, any bra, in almost that long. Dammit but these sports bras are indestructible!

So I got fitted and tried on some high-tech big girl bras. May I say holy sweet shit?!? My boobs haven't been this close to my face in a long time (see above). Nor have they been so far in front of me, other than while floating in a hot tub, for that same length of time. I believe they will enter a room a few seconds before the rest of me arrives.

The difference between them is still noticeable. Same as with the sports bras, which don't have such obvious lift and thrust. However, the bra I bought has some pockets inside the cups, and little air bags ("bubbles") that can be placed here and there to correct for such things as I have going on. Not that they really need it, since the cups seem to have a life of their own. I could carry a small purse in the void left on the left. Maybe I will. Or an ice bag. I'll be in Chicago, after all. It will be close to 90 degrees.

So I'm still going to look lopsided, but I'll also be wearing a colorful kimono, which should provide some cover in that regard. Also, I'm not the bride. All eyes will be on her, which is as it should be.

I'm bringing my trusty sports bra with me to the reception. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to wear such an amazing piece of engineering, or how long I can stand having my breasts within my field of vision every stinking minute.

I'll keep you posted.