why

I don't know if my words really conveyed what happened the other day.

Like many folks, it seemed to me that this wasn't my problem. There are people and agencies who take care of that sort of thing, after all. And there is the issue of me being female, and though I don't actually believe that makes me a target, there are certain interactions that I tend to avoid because of perceived vulnerability.

Somewhere during the day it occurred to me that it wasn't someone else's responsibility. It was mine. There was the need, right in front of me. Just like when I hear that a friend is in need in some way. Nothing different. There it was.

Bottom line: I wanted to be able to sleep that night. In my heart, I know that when I stop feeling compassion or empathy, there's little point in continuing to exist.

today

hobbitt woke me this morning from a delicious dream about being back in college. I don't remember any of it now. There was plenty of time for me to get up and shower before my 10:30 massage, and I sipped fresh coffee while checking my email before I left. It's not every day that I get a 90-minute massage. What a treat!

About three miles before town there was a man standing at an intersection with two large plastic covered bundles and a small sign which read: "Hungry". Since it was only 10:15 a.m., I figured someone from the local church that operates a shelter would pick him up and bring him into town. That's the kind of place this is. The homeless are counted and cared for, in their trailers and tents in the woods. Local agencies make sure they have food and heat and medicines.

After the massage I went to the grocery store. My medications needed to be refilled and we didn't have any dessert at home. Heaven forbid! I bought some cold cuts and enough coffee to float a battle ship, dried black beans for my favorite soup recipe, and one of our favorite cheeses.

On the drive home the fellow was still standing there. It was 1:15 p.m.

Most weekdays I make lunch for me and hobbitt. Today it was sandwiches from the cold cuts I'd just bought: ham and cheese for him and roast beef for me. Yummy! I had to return a call from our bank regarding the small loan we're applying for. We've (okay, I've) decided to replace the Taurus, which we never drive, with another car that would be more practical. Another Swedewagon, probably used. Although we have enough money in the bank to pay for a new one outright, I have this weird comfort level for savings. Though I've overcome my mother's voices about my way of living, I still haven't overcome my dread of a tight budget.

Today was training day for Zach. I ripped up a rotisserie chicken we had for dinner a few nights ago and stuffed the pieces in a baggie and loaded the pup into the car and drove into town for some "crowd desensitization." It was 3:45.

The fellow was still standing on the corner, with his bundles and his little sign.

Zach was wonderful after the first few blocks. Pedestrians stopped to pet him, and a few had biscuits or took some of the chicken pieces I had for a treat. He stopped barking at people altogether, and we lingered near a few groups of folks so that he could begin to feel comfortable. What a joy to see him to confident and relaxed! Though we have lots more work to do, I feel very good about him outgrowing his trepidation. We worked for about 45 minutes together in downtown Pete. On the way back to the car I saw my friend Melanie in her office and called out to her. We chatted through her window for a moment, and then I loaded Zach into the car and drove home. It was raining, about 4:45.

The fellow was still standing on the corner, with his bundles and his little sign.

When I arrived at home, I made two turkey sandwiches, stole two of hobbitt's banana muffins and a Mountain Dew, and bagged that all up with two oranges and an apple. I forgot napkins but did have a package of tissues in the car, so I tossed that in the bag too. When I pulled up at the intersection, the fellow walked over to my car just as I was getting out.

"I have some sandwiches for you," I said. "Where are you headed?"

"I have an offer to get into some fella's garage tonight, so that's looking up," he said, tilting his face up into the rain. His glasses were speckled with raindrops, in spite of the hat he was wearing. I don't remember if he had a raincoat on.

Then I remembered I had eleven dollars in my pocket. This is unusual. I rarely carry cash. He thanked me for that, too. I wished him luck.

Now I've never known poverty, or real want. As poor as we were growing up, we always had food, and shelter, and clothing. The latter was rarely new, nor were the family cars or bicycles or other toys. But I've never been truly hungry and never even close to homeless. At this point in our lives, we have much more than enough.

I don't know what this fellow's story was, though I'd like to think that if he was scamming he wouldn't have stayed in one spot on the county highway for seven hours.

I don't think hobbitt will mind that I stole his muffins and his Mountain Dew.

oops

My task for the past 17 days has been to sit still, whether it was in an airplane seat or behind the wheel of a car. My back is over it, for the most part, and my knees, well, let's just say they're a half-century old and leave it at that.

I had a blast with Tracy and her family. She and I are two of a kind. If we'd have been sisters, our parents would have had to separate us all the time for the constant teasing, silliness and "I'm not touching you, is this bothering you?" inanity. We laughed pretty much non-stop, including while she was receiving two units of blood in the oncology center, and when the nurse was describing how she'd be receiving her radiation treatments ("Why, that's a radioactive dildo!"). She hadn't been out of her house in the woods on a regular basis in months, but she got out every day while I was there. I put 1500 miles on the rental car.

We ate well, too. There is no dearth of really great restaurants in the Akron area, and her beloved "evil stepmother" is a wonderful cook and hostess.

So do the math. I was sitting still for the past 17 days, and eating. I'm fairly certain I haven't seen a tailor lately to take in my pants.

Oops.

re-upping

I told Tracy I hadn't wanted to be an inconvenience to her father and Jane.

She said, with great sincerity and excitement, "But we're all looking forward to the inconvenience!"

It's a joke now. Even Frank is thanking me for the inconvenience.

I've decided to stay until the 23rd.

I'm off!

But you knew that, didn't you?

Okay. After three solid weeks of company, I am hitching a ride to the airport with the last of them tomorrow, and heading to Ohio.

I'll be kicking back with some dear old friends and basking in the warmth of my "second family."

So don't be wondering if you don't hear from me, m'kay?

heh

Stole if from Beanie who stole it from her new best friend or something. Just to show I've been around the block a time or two.



create your own visited states map

it rains

That is self-explanatory.

What I need to fill in is that I love the rain. You might think this is a Good Thing, since I live in the Pacific Northwest. And it is.

However, the truth is that we live in an almost semi-arid environment here behind the Olympic Range. Pete receives less than 20 inches of rain in an average year, which is less than half the precipitation that New York City gets.

Summer up here can be glorious. Our first summer was such a miracle: nothing but sunshine from July to September, and only one warm weekend over the Memorial Day holiday weekend. (Read: over 80 degrees.) Last summer was quite sunny also. This summer? Not so much. It's been rainy and cool for the most part, except for that requisite heat wave when hobbitt was in Peru in mid-July.

And that's okay by me. But let me be clear. By "rainy" I mean drizzly. Nothing amounting to what would sustain the new plantings around the house. Our water bill proves it. And then there's that lawn we've been trying to nurse along...

Anyway. Summer, which never really seemed to arrive this year, is over. I am so okay with that. Heavy skies and the smell of water are what turn me on, inside and out. My California friends suffer in the climate that truly sustains me. I can't explain it. Suffice it to say I'm a Pisces born in a town called Neptune, at the New Joy Sea shore. Yep. Down the Shore. Pretty much every planet in my sign is water.

But tonight it rains. It thrums against the skylights and patters on the driveway. The gutters run freely. The skies are open tonight. It rains!

So let it rain. May the rain soothe my sleep, and yours. May it calm the fires in our souls and lead us into verdant autumn landscapes. When you feel parched, come visit us here. We've got the goods to heal the burn.

Peace.